Friday, January 18, 2013

gravity

something always brings me back to you
it never takes too long
no matter what i say or do 
i'll still feel you here till the moment i'm gone

you hold me without touch
you keep me without chains
i never wanted anything so much than to
drown in your love and not feel your reign

set me free, leave me be
i don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
here i am and i stand so tall
just the way i'm supposed to be
but you're on to me, and all over me

you loved me 'cause i'm fragile, 
when i thought that i was strong
but you touched me for a little while
all my fragile strength is gone

set me free, leave me be
 i don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
here i am, and i stand so tall
just the way i'm supposed to be
but you're on to me, and all over me

i live here on my knees
as i try to make you see that 
you're everything i think i need here on the ground
but you're neither friend nor foe
though i can't seem to let you go
the one thing that i still know
is that you're keeping me down

you're keeping me down, yeah yeah yeah
you're on to me, on to me and all over...

something always brings me back to you
it never takes too long.


sometimes a song will simply say it all and it would just be plagiarism to say how i feel.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

single girls

cause that's what single girls do,
don't think about you.


i recently read The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. it was a really good book. i'd recommend it. there was a part of it that really stuck out to me. a lady was stuck in hell basically because she loved her son too much. which at first you'd think weird, until it's explained. she loved her son more than God. the only good thing is God, and the further you get from Him, the less good there is. her love was so far from God.

so people lie when they say that love is good. love in and of itself isn't good. it's not bad either if you want to be truthful. it's just love.

and this all got me to thinking about the people that i love. that i miss. who aren't with me. is my love keeping me from Him? maybe. so that was one of my "new year's" goals. to take myself away from that, and closer to the love that brings us closer to the Lord.

so i'm not thinking about him.

at least that's what i've told myself. i'm not really sure how i'm going to manage looking at the Payson Mountain and not remember our hikes. I'm not sure how i'm going to look at collector's coins and not think about the ones he gave me. i'm not sure how i'm going to go swimming and not remember all the swim meets i went to with him.

but that's what single girls do right? they don't think about them.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Airplanes

can we pretend that airplanes
in the night sky are like shooting stars?
i could really use a wish right now, wish right now
wish right now.


what would you wish for if you had one chance? wishes are a pretty complex thing if you think about it. sometimes what we want isn't always the best for us, or could simply never happen. or, should never happen, because sometimes we want things that aren't going to make us happy at all in the end.

and recently i've thought about how choices can lead to two different endings. if i chose to turn left instead of right. if i chose to be happy now, but sad later instead of sad now and happy later.

so maybe that's where wishes come in. we wish that something else were the reality. our mistakes or whatever choices we make, if we wished for different outcomes...what would happen if they came true? would i be happy in the end? would i miss what i had never been able to have?

in the end wishing isn't real and none of that matters. shooting stars don't grant miracles. in the end, everything falls back on you and what choice you actually made. life is an empty page until you decide to lift up your hand and start to write it.

wishes don't come true.