and i never want to let you down
forgive me if i slip away
when all that i've known is lost and found
i promise you i, i'll come back to you one day.
saying goodbye to a friend is hard. the first time i remember saying goodbye to my best friend, i was probably about eleven years old. she and i loved to play Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. we took turns being the pretty elf or Padme.
i remember when i saw her again after nearly a year or two when she had moved away for a while. she came to pick me up after school in the parking lot. i don't remember waiting for her outside but i do remember the next part. i saw her and i was so excited that i literally started running when i saw her, and then i gave her the biggest hug i had ever given anyone. i remember being so happy that even to this day it makes me feel light and happy.
a few years ago i said goodbye to another "friend". it was an immature friendship and there were a lot of misunderstandings. my parents asked me not to talk to him again, at least until i was eighteen and could make my own decisions. i listened to them. it was nearly six months after my birthday but i did finally contact him. i don't think it was for the best. it opened old wounds.
it makes me wonder why i ever had to go through all of that.
and then just two weeks ago...again i said goodbye to my best friend, only this time to the best friend that i had been praying to find for nearly my entire life. a guy who understood me, the romantic and the politics, the books and the excess of thoughts. and the simple but strong passion for life. the one year we had together seems so short now. every little memory invades my mind.
sometimes i will come home, no matter what time of day and i look over at some object that triggers a memory and i'm momentarily transported back. i miss him, so much that my heart almost literally hurts sometimes.
i hope someday that when we see each other, there will not have to be any more goodbyes.
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